Patience

Patience isn't something I have a lot of.  I think it must have been my mother who said to me over and over...  Patience is a virtue, possess it if you can; it's seldom found in women and never found in man.  So a lack of patience goes way back for me.


Dealing with mental illness demands a lot of patience.  I can't fix it, control it, do anything about it.   It just is.  If my kid had cancer I'd be able to find the best doctor, have the surgery, radiation, chemo, whatever it takes and from the start you know pretty much what the potential outcomes might be.  Cured, not cured, maybe it will come back.  But it's measurable and you can take action right away.  A young man I know was diagnosed with lymphoma and once the family knew what they were dealing with - and this happened relatively quickly, they could start treatment.  Fast.   The doctors knew exactly how to treat it. They'd seen it before, Chemo, radiation and now he's doing great and hopefully will remain cancer free forever.  I know not every story is like that - and that he is a fortunate young man to have gone through it so well, but for those that don't you still at least know what it is and what's causing it and you can understand the underlying physiology of the disease.  When a psychiatrist sees someone with schizophrenia - they can't just say oh - take this anti-psychotic, have a brain biopsy and we'll know what to do.  They just don't know what will work.  There is no treatment for schizophrenia - just for psychosis, but there's a lot more to SZ than just the psychosis.


We were at the hospital today having our weekly visit with Dr. Lewis.  For the second time in three years he was actually on time.  No hour wait or anything.  Kit went in and I was knitting.   Another mom came over and commented on my knitting and we started gently talking about mental illness.  She asked - is Dr. Lewis a good doctor?  I said I hope so!!  Actually we are pretty sure he is as so many other doctors and mental health care professionals have spoken highly of him, but of course we don't know anyone else who has been to him. Not something people talk about!!  Not like you go to a cocktail party and ask anyone if they know a great psychiatrist.  Although you might ask around for a great orthopedic surgeon for your knee surgery!


When I went in at the end of Kit's visit to give my input into how he's doing this week I mentioned to him that Kit spends most of his time in bed.  He was surprised - I guess Kit told him he's not doing much - but he is really not doing anything.   For the past couple of visits Dr. Lewis has been encouraging Kit to try Lithium to see if it will help his depressive symptoms.  Each time Kit says no - he doesn't believe in any of the meds, blah, blah blah... same old story.  And inside I'm screaming - Just try it!!! Try anything!  Try to beat this stupid disease, don't just sit there all day!!!  Ah - no patience...  I want it to work RIGHT NOW.  But today Dr. Lewis told me Kit has decided to try the Lithium.  Wow.  He had the patience to just keep giving him the idea each week, telling him that it might help, and let him come to the decision on his own time.   I could learn something here...


Driving back from the appointment we stopped for a coffee - I was bursting inside with happiness that he is willing to try the lithium.  I hope it gives him some good feelings back, some desire to do more than hang in bed all day.  But maybe it won't.  Tomorrow morning he goes for some baseline blood work so that they can monitor the side affects of the lithium before he starts tomorrow night.  Then I'll need to be patient and see what happens.